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ONE MILLION DOLLARS OFFERED IN RESPONSE TO OUR WINE SCAM ARTICLE

Our previous article on Wine Scams stirred up a lot of interest and emotions. You might remember that Bob Catania, the maker of the Wine Enhancer, claimed that Wine Spectator magazine enthusiastically endorsed his product. Well, the executive editor of Wine Spectator emailed me and said,

“To whom it may concern:
It has come to my attention that Robert Catania is claiming that Wine Spectator has endorsed his product called the Wine Enhancer. This is not true…. Mr. Catania should refrain from any claims that Wine Spectator has in any way verified the effects claimed for the Wine Enhancer, or that we endorse it in any way.”

“ROT-GUT RESCUED BY SCIENCE

Ben Killerby, whose site http://www.killerby.com.au/rituals_scams.htm pretty well explains his grounding in reason and rationality, shares with us this incomprehensible description of the “Magic Flavor Plug-in Magnetizing Dispenser for Red Wine and Brandy.” Folks, you just can’t invent such crapola…

I need to explain to you a bit about how our newly-invented product works. The wines are made of grapes, the grape skin, seed and stems containing Tannin. Tannin is compounded with phenol or flavour. The wine is aged by oxidation of this compound which will be chemically combined one by one by oxidation to form a chain of molecules. The longer the chain is and the older the wine is. Our product is just a magnetizer. When a conductive fluid (in this case wine) passes through a magnetic field, an electrical charge is created. Our device is having a di-pole where the fluid will be cut through the magnetic field 90 degree with respect to the line of field. Once it is cut through the field, an ionization is induced on the molecules, hence each group of phenol will lose a hydrogen and have a (minus) charge. This effect will course [sic] the ionized groups of molecules to form a virtual chain which will be physically similar to the aged wine. The effect will only last for 15 days but it is enough time for drinking. You can call our product as [sic] "Age wine instantly using magnetic". You can take a young, callow, brash and uncouth bottle of cheap red wine or brandy, use our Plug-in Magnetizing Dispenser on it, and the result will allegedly [sic] be... well, not Grange, but distinctly better than it was.

Hey, folks, there’s hope for Thunderbird! Says Ben, quite correctly, “The tortured grammar of the text is nothing compared to the tortured chemistry that ‘explains’ the process.”

A brief run-down of the various major wine-enhancing scams that are currently being offered to the naďve:

• The Perfect Sommelier. You replace the cork with their top and place the bottle on the special stand. It sells for $50 to $60, depending on the variety of color and style of finish that you choose.

• Wine Cellar Express ages wine in 30 minutes or less. You place the wine bottle on a round coaster, and a “magnetic field” softens or reduces the wine's harsh tannins. It sells for around $45.

• The Wine Clip is a metallic-plastic device to clip around the wine bottle neck, and it retails for $35. Simply pouring the wine from the bottle ages and improves the wine, instantly. No waiting.

• The BevWizard is a neck-clip-plus-aerator that gets rid of those nasty “smaller tannins” that are “negatively charged particles.” The device “encourages” the tannins to “combine together.”

• The Wine Enhancer goes for $149. It's a large, heavy epoxy disc with colorful crystals and a coppery coil embedded inside. No deadly magnets here, only semi-precious gems and minerals.

I’m astonished that none of these devices have snapped up the JREF’s million-dollar prize. The reason that such flummeries are eligible for the prize, is that if any of the claims were true, they would – by definition – be paranormal. Or magical…

After reading all this heated exchange, I thought I’d simply repeat the long-standing challenge of the James Randi Educational Foundation: we will pay US$1,000,000 to anyone who can tell the difference between wine that has been treated with ANY of the so-called “Wine Magnet” devices, and the same wine not so treated. It should take less that a day [sic] to perform a comprehensive set of tests, and the potential payoff is a million dollars – plus my personal, abject, apologies for having doubted the applicants. Please spare me the usual assortment of excuses and alibis; the prize money is available for immediate payout in the form of negotiable bonds, those involved in the testing would be independent experts chosen by the applicants, and all procedures would be covered in detail by media recording.

My expectation is that none of the endorsers of any of the “enhancing” systems will accept this attractive offer, but will choose to continue to avoid any proper testing of their claims, and will thereby sacrifice their golden opportunity to win this substantial prize, and to show the skeptics to be fools…

Well, we received an hilarious response from Robert V. Catania, president of Catania Wine Enhancer Inc., who claims that his “colorful” invention works on “orgone energy,” which I thought we’d left behind with the decease of Wilhelm Reich in 1957. Catania has been a very active voice in supporting the flummery, while at the same time emphatically declining to take the million-dollar prize for a mere few hours of demonstrating how well his “invention” works. When I received his excited e-mail, I thought I might be hearing a reversal, his acceptance of the JREF challenge:

I am not sure how to take this completely silly email. What is your real incentive in this? As an experienced business man I know that there are no free rides in life and wonder why you have such an issue with the whole wine enhancer concept. Does this scare you in some way or potentially effect you financially? Hummmm!

Bob, my “incentive” that you’ve asked about, is to expose flummery, whether it be in the wine business or in the talking-to-dead-people racket. As for my being scared, I invite you to scare me – a million dollars worth – by accepting the JREF challenge. Come on, Bob! Scare me! Hummmm!

Folks, my message to Bob is described by him as, “completely silly.” Perhaps I’d better insert here his basic claim, so readers can decide just who sounds “silly.” Says Catania:

Not only does [the magic epoxy disk] soften tannins and open up young wines, but it eliminates red wine headaches! [It also] avoids the magnetism and harmful electrical currents [as used by “magnet” devices. It uses] natural sustainable energy [brought about by] a perfect combination of 11 carefully selected semi-precious gems and minerals... a unique combination of technologies, tapping into natural energy sources that exists [sic] within our atmosphere (as discovered and well researched by Nicola Tesla and Wilhelm Reich). The enhancer collects, amplifies and then broadcasts these life supporting energies in perfect coherence.

So his device doesn’t need batteries because it uses “natural energy sources” in the atmosphere? Do we have to await a thunderstorm in order to create better wine? I ask you, folks, now who sounds sillier? But there’s more to come.

Now who’s being “silly”…? Bob continues:

I wonder if you have thought about who will design the tasting and who how [sic] any of us could expect you with such an obvious derogatory attitude to be trusted to do it correctly and actually pay up. Seems like a no win situation for the wine enhancer people. How many challenges have you paid so far?

Oh, we’ve got that all arranged, Bob, since – as you would know if you’d read our rules of operation – any test would be done using your experts, or you yourself, if you wish. And even your design, so long as it’s double-blind, of course. To ease your anxiety, I’d not even be present during tests, to get around any “bad vibes” I might put out… As for paying up, that’s also covered in our rules; we’re firmly committed to pay up, an obligation that is legally binding and final. Bob, where’s your commitment? I’ve looked for it, and not found it. As for my “derogatory attitude,” that can have nothing to do with the testing process, again as stated by our rules. Please, Bob, have someone read and explain the rules to you, so that you’ll avoid looking like such a dunce.

As for the number of challenges paid, to use your term, the answer is, zero. Why? Because the fatuous, smug, claims of those who apply for the prize, are worthless; but at least they try, under agreed-to conditions, though they always fail. I invite you to join that number, Bob. What say? Obviously, you won’t, because you know that your “invention” is a scam. Prove me wrong, and make a million. Bob? Bob? You out there?

I already have many well respected testimonials of professional wine people including the Wine Spectator Magazine. Are you more qualified wine journalist then [sic] Marvin Shanken and 7 of his professional tasters??? I think not. Go back to chasing the psychic network people that will get you the proper attention that you seem to feed on.

Ah! Now we’re getting down to pay dirt! I hereby officially invite anyone from Wine Spectator Magazine and/or Marvin and his seven professional wine tasters to be the officials to judge the difference between treated and untreated wine samples, under their conditions, using their wine, taking as much time as needed, under whatever circumstances – humidity, temperature, size or shape of glass, atmospheric pressure, orientation at the table, number of sips, kind of music – that they require. Will I hear from Wine Spectator and/or Marvin and his “experts”? Of course not!

Bob, you express the opinion, above, that I consider myself a “more qualified wine journalist then [sic] Marvin Shanken” and these renowned wine connoisseurs. Wrong, Bob. I don’t think I could tell the difference between a last-October Thunderbird and a Chateau Mouton Rothschild – though I was once privileged to sip a glass of the latter among my science-fiction-author friends at the Del Rey mansion in Red Bank, New Jersey, on the occasion of the lunar landing in 1969. I admit that my memory of that experience has faded… No, Bob, I have no qualifications in oenology, at all. That’s why I would welcome any of these experts, or don’t you understand yet?

The fact that you assume no proper testing has been done just confirms your arrogance. I just last week had 4 wine makers tasting wine off my enhancer in Nantucket and they all acknowledged a tannin softening. You know better then [sic] wine makers though I am sure and all medical information [?] as well.

Oh, I’ll accept that your “experts” were appropriately sycophantic, Bob, perhaps just to keep you away, but I invite them to join the others as judges. Why not? I’m going all the way to make you secure in your consideration of applying for the easy million dollars, Bob! And just think of how fast my arrogance would be cured as soon as The Wine Enhancer passes the simple test, and you pocket the million! I’m all a-shudder!

What is the James Randi Educational Foundation anyways, but an out of balance skeptic perspective? If you find us out of balance with expressing what you consider the unknown then please look in the mirror at how exaggerated you are to opposite extreme. [?] Your work is a bit one sided maybe?

Maybe so, but you now have an ideal opportunity to prove my recalcitrance, and embarrass me, as well as make an easy million, Bob! PROVE ME WRONG and win a million dollars! Bob? You there, Bob? Hello…?

I have nothing to prove to you and could care less about your ridiculous disguised challenge and foundation. I wonder how you will handle it all when you have to look back at it all some day when your time has come.

Oh. Turned down again… Gee, Bob, I wish I could take this refusal harder, but I’ve been refused by Nobel laureates, major corporations, rich inventors, and all sorts of academics; a Little Old Wine Device Maker from Massachusetts doesn’t stack up against them. But you guys all share one outstanding feature: you don’t have the courage to put your stupid claims to the test.

Bob closed with:

I wish you well in your future challenges James!

No you don’t, Bob. You fear me and the JREF challenge, and you want us to go away. We’ll hold onto that with some satisfaction…

And, amazingly, we haven’t heard a peep from the Perfect Sommelier, the Wine Cellar Express, the Wine Clip, or the BevWizard, either! Strange…”

So if anyone wants to share in a million dollar reward, contact the Wine Enhancer people and see if you can get Bob Catania to bring his epoxy disc along to a testing. Here are his contact details for good measure:

Catania Wine Enhancer Inc.
Robert V Catania
President
508-428-1127 Voice
508-428-1142 Fax
rcatania@WineEnhancer.net
www.WineEnhancer.net